I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
