I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
