i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
