Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
