I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
