Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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