I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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