please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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