dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
