I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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