Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
