I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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