ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
