careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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