I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My day in three words: secret purse cake
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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