I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
no you cant smoke seaweed
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
