I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
