is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
