then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
