there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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