he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
4 words: hood of his car
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
