you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
