8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If that was your dad, he is hot
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
