dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
