One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
