Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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