I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
so much tequila, so little girl.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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