This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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