What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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