i jhust puked up my retainher.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
