You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
