i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
