Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
