just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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