I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
