woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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