he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
