Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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