I will die if light touches me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
