The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Randomize