But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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