you win again, gameday.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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