It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
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