a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Is Oprah even human
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize