So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
