ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
