**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
