Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
