Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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