like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
