It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
