Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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