girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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