I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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