My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
