Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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