i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
