So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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