Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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